As parents, we often complain of troublesome three year olds. Three year olds are troublesome because they are developing from babyhood to childhood.
Teenagers get the same reaction - developing from childhood to adulthood is not an easy transition, and so much communication can be lost along the way, especially with parents, who could, with a little effort, be the teenager's best friend....
A certain understanding of the roots of a problem, and a lot of acceptance can bridge so many gaps and ease the changeover from a 3 to 5 year old, or indeed a 13-20 year old.
But how on earth do you find the root of the problem when you hardly know what the problem is, and your teenager certainly isn't going to reveal it to their parents.
In your dreams!The solution is to 'not' focus on the problem - we know in our hearts that focusing on a problem will not find the solution.So what do we do? We ignore the problem, or more to the point, we put it on hold.
The most certain way to communicate with anyone is to ask them what their dreams are, what they want from life, how they visualize themselves in the future. Get into their space:
Many teenagers will be dreaming of celebrity type status, footballer, singer, film star. And before you decide for your teenager that these dreams are unattainable, remember someone's got to be doing it....
Find out what your teenager is interested in, ask them what they dream about, and go with it. Yes enjoy it with them. Let them dream and then help them on their way.Even if you're absolutely convinced in your heart that your teenager has no acting ability or can't kick a football to save their lives, that's not for you to judge.
People achieve stunning things in this world, wouldn't you love your child to be one of them. A happy fulfilled individual able to share his or her success with the rest of us mortals?!
How many of us grow up with firm beliefs that we aren't capable of achieving our dreams because someone at sometime told us we didn't have what it takes?
Don't let that happen to your loved ones. Following your dream should be an enjoyable experience. Most 'successful' people will tell you it's not the goal but the journey that counts. You need the goal though to be able to begin the journey.
Find out what your teenager is dreaming about....Don't make the cringing mistake of making their dream something you're particularly interested in. Your teenager won't respect you for this and will more than likely be embarrassed by it.
The best way to help with the dream path, is to take the steps logically, one tiny step at a time. Sit down and discuss the possibilities and the impossibilities. Make some notes together. Buy a homework book to note dreams and goals. Take it seriously.
Do a little research, and come up with the first step in the process. Maybe you could download free scripts from the internet to practise acting skills at home. Have fun acting out the films and learn while you play!Is there a local football club your budding football star could join and train on Saturday mornings?
Don't be afraid to NOT achieve the dreams. I was always told 'you'll only get disappointed when you don't make it.' Well, hey, a little disappointment and a slight change of direction isn't nearly as devastating as never fulfilling any of your dreams and resentfully working in a job you hate for the rest of your life.
Keep an open mind, we change our minds and ideas as we grow older, take on responsibilities, change our careers... It's perfectly okay to change your goals and dreams, and this should be clearly stated when you first chat about the dreams with your teenager. As long as you don't ridicule the idea, you will find a way.
A series of events while pursuing an acting career, could so easily lead to the individual wanting to polish up his/her writing skills. And what's wrong with that? The contact and experience was necessary to find the right path towards fulfilment.
A less than brilliant sporting talent may result in acting the part in the next blockbuster!We can't predict the future, but we do all have a perfect right to pursue our dreams and be happy in our lives. The happier we are, the more happiness we share with others, and the happier they are!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Teens and Alcohol
It's the standard at every weekend party: a case of beer, a keg, many hard liquor bottles and mixed drinks. Alcohol is everywhere these days, and teens (as well as adults) can't keep their hands off it. Teens are getting drunk just about every weekend during the school year, and even more during the summer.But why do teens insist on drinking? Is it peer pressure? Is it the thrill of doing something illegal? Do they think it will make them cooler in the eyes of others? Most likely, it's one (or more) of these reasons. Teens are easily pressured into things. Almost all of them want to be accepted, and are willing to do just about anything to gain acceptance. Even the smartest student in school could very well be giving in to peer pressure, drinking, doing drugs, and having promiscuous sex.Most Parents wouldn't like to think of their child being the one to give in. "My child is smarter than that," they say. While it is quite possible your child is very intelligent, it takes a very strong willed teen to just say "no." The fact is that most teens will give in to peer pressure at one time or another, whether it be with alcohol or something else.Parents need to be on the watch when it comes to their teens. Make sure you know where they're going and verify that parents are going to be there. This will likely assure that drinking will not take place, but it is still a possibility. Make sure your teen knows the consequences and dangers of alcohol over-consumption, such as liver damage and alcohol poisoning. Teens usually have a different attitude about it if their parents explain to them the effects of alcohol. Parents work a lot better than health class in school, and can be more personal.
Problems Facing Today's Teens
Teen problems are growing. If you think that being a teen today is the same as it was when you were in their shoes, you are probably mistaken. Now, listen to yourself say how strict and how hard life was when you where young. But, you need to realize that teens today face huge, life threatening decisions just about ever day. What they face has a lot to do with where they grow up. Yet do not be fooled into thinking that your child is safe.In the normal course of your teen's day, he or she may face any of these things; one or more of them.Drugs Think that drugs are simple like they used to be? They are not. Kids today are not just smoking the easy stuff. They are into crack or other strong and deadly drugs.Sex Not only are they exposed to it on the television, but they are encouraged by others. They may be engaging in sexual acts that you have never heard of. They may be doing it unprotected as well. At school, after school, on the car ride home - there are many opportunities you do not realize. Teens get pregnant and have babies.Violence Today's teen problems often revolve around violence. They see friends with guns at school or after school. They witness huge fights. They hear threats. They see anger and deal with it daily.Depression With all that they see and do, teens face depression today at an alarming rate as compared to just a decade ago. Depression is not something that just goes away, but can cause them harm and threaten their lives.Driving Teens drive drunk. Teens drive under the influence of drugs. Teens get in cars that others are driving under the influence. Teens may also be responsible drivers, but share the road with those that are not.Teen problems that are at a lower level can be just as deadly. They face lying, cheating, emotional trauma, learning disabilities and divorce. All of these things a child will face daily in some cases. In those cases, it is no wonder that they have low self esteems, high drop out rates and some of the students will break under the pressure. Teen problems should be addressed and noticed by their parents first
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